I hate it, the sound of it makes me cringe,
it's like nails on a chalkboard.
Some families have no problem with it, it doesn't offend them, or drive them to the brink of sanity. . . . but I want it banned.
Ok if I am totally honest I keep telling the ranting, raving humans who inhabit my world that the word is banned . . . .yet they continue to use it.
It's the ugliest of all so forgive me in advance . . . . . it is the despicable, hope bashing, entitlement ending word FAIR.
The teen and preteen use it in response to just about anything; rain when they wanted sun, "unequal" gifts, a grade they felt they didn't deserve. But most often it is in response to a punishment they received or lack of punishment doled out to their sibling.
It doesn't matter what provoked it, my response is always the same.
"LIFE IS NOT FAIR".
If there is one thing I want them to understand it is that. Nowhere, in the rule book of life does it ever . . hear me . . EVER say life is fair.
We live in a horribly broken world. And unfair happens far more than fair.
Yet we crave fairness, partly I think because we are created in God's image. A God of justice, a God of love, compassion, mercy and grace. But being the fallen humans we are we pervert His eternal justice to an earthly version. This version is flawed from the start because it assumes our actions beget the reaction. But they don't always do they? Jobs lost, cancer diagnosis, children die, ISIS murders; these are often beyond our control. No matter how hard we work, how well we eat or exercise, how cautious we are, how loving we are, we cannot change everything. And it makes us want to yell from the mountain top, "It's not fair"!
Because it isn't.
Something in us instinctually knows we were created for more than what this world can offer. It craves the perfection of our Creator. It longs to be made whole, no pain, no fear, no disappointment or sadness, no illness. This side of heaven we can only have glimpses of that. Instead we hang onto faith. Hebrews defines faith as confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see. We hope for a day when wrongs are righted, when evil is quelled, when Jesus comes and leads us home.
Until then we look for where He is moving. We watch and wait. Knowing that He is moving despite the evil, injustice, and unfairness surrounding us and will bring beauty from ashes.
Life isn't fair.
And God isn't either, He is better than that, He is just.
There is consequence for my sin, I am separated from God - could not stand in His presence. No matter how much good I try to do I could never balance the bad I do. But God allowed my sins to be paid for, wiped clean, by someone else. It isn't fair that Jesus paid the price for my sins. Nor is if fair that I can stand before God clean in his sight.
And I thank God He is not fair . . . . I could not bear the weight if He was.